on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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