maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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