hotel room ftw
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
