Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
