Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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