I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
