I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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