sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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