totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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