AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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