Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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