I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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