before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
