I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
