she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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