i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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