I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
