so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
