Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
