You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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