the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
