no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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