I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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