So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
