____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
