Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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