Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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