This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
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it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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