i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize