belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You need Xanax blowdarts
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry about my life...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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