i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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