He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
