all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
