I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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