I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
