you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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