what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
