i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
