I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
