Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
