if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the gays at disneyland are vicious
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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