I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Michael Bay diarrhea
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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