One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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