she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
