butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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