It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
