he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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