please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
