i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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