I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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