the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
