My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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