Please, let me fuck your mom
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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