well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
id be glad to
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
