he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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