You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
