were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
