trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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