so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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