**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
COCAINE IS GR8
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
