i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
